Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Jean...my love.

You can never realize the strength of your relationships until they are tested in the fires of life. Jean, my wife, and I, have traveled may roads together since we met in 'o3. I remember having to push our Beetle to get it started. I remember it catching on fire (lot's of smoke, not a lot of damage). The hot water line broke under our apartment once, that was fun. Riding the bus everywhere, I miss that sometimes. Levi passing away. Jean's Dad having heart problems. Car problems and more car problems. Each curve ball life has thrown at us, we have stepped up and taken a swing at least.

Last night was not just a curve ball, but a pitch right to the head. After finding out we were having a baby, we lost the baby. Jean was in terrible pain and we went to the ER very early around 2:30am. They gave her something to help the pain, and performed an ultrasound. An examination confirmed that we would not be parents this time around. The doctor was wonderful and caring. We cried. We prayed. The rest of the staff was in Atlanta, praying for us as well. It was sad, and yet we were at such peace. We understood Job, we could identify with other couples who have had miscarriages, with people who say to God, "what's up?". The thing that has impacted me the most in the last 24 hours was, we supported each other and leaned on the Father together. I those moments of despair and pain, we turned to Jesus for comfort. We leaned not on our own understanding. We choose not to question the Master, but to believe in His will for us. I watched my wife take a hit last night. I watched her endure pain. I watched her face as she was told here pregnancy was over. And then I watched her as the peace of God enveloped her as if the very arms of the creator scooped her up. It was in that moment that I loved her more deeper that ever. In that moment, I respected her like never before. It was in that moment that I felt our relationship would survive anything. Except for the Lord's saving grace, my wife is my greatest gift from Him.

After we left the hospital, we went to Denny's and ate breakfast together. We held hands and enjoyed some eggs and hash browns. Good things.

I love you Jean.

5 comments:

Maggie said...

Wow. You guys never fail to impress me - how you're handling this is amazing. Let us know if there is anything we can do.

Leigh Ann said...

We love you guys and completely understand all you are feeling right now. We rest with you in the fact that we serve a mighty God who is so much bigger than all of this. We are praying for you and know that there will be beauty from these ashes.

Anonymous said...

Wojo,
Just wanted to let you know that we are all here for you and Jean!!! We love you guys!

Ashley said...

Wojo and Jean, your transparency and absolute dependancy on the Lord never ceases to amaze, encourage and teach me so much. Dean and I have been praying so heavily for the Lord to cover you and He has. Know how much you mean to us and how much we care about God's plan for your life. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

Ashley said...

Wojo and Jean, your transparency and absolute dependancy on the Lord never ceases to amaze, encourage and teach me so much. Dean and I have been praying so heavily for the Lord to cover you and He has. Know how much you mean to us and how much we care about God's plan for your life. Thank you for sharing your life with us.